Every relationship has its own "nook." You know, that intimate place of physical and emotional security, warmth and abundant joy that envelopes you and your partner when all is harmonious in your relationship. In the nook, forgiveness abounds, passion ignites and individual attributes merge into mutually-accepted opinions, interests and ambitions. When you're in the nook, nothing can shake your relationship's strong, solid foundation. Unfortunately, when you're out of the nook, the door to break-up, separation and divorce blows wide open. Not to mention heartbreak, longing, isolation and the abrupt appearance of three vocabulary words best left lying quietly in a closed dictionary: shoulda, woulda and couda.
Are you slowly and steadily slipping out of your relationship's nook? Do you feel disconnected from your partner? Alone? Ignored? Scared? But most of all - still in love and willing to do anything to fight for that love? If you've decided that your relationship is not going down without a fight, good for you. You've taken the first step: admitting that you have a relationship problem. Now, it's time for you to buckle down and make sure that the words "I shoulda done that," "I woulda gotten help if I only knew where to find it" or "I coulda saved my love if I would have had more time to focus on the problem" never come out of your mouth. Now is the time for you to learn three ways to save your relationship.
Independently Work on Your Relationship Problem
The first thing you need to do to independently work on your relationship problem is to find the right time and place to mend fences with your partner. Start by writing down you and your partner's schedules on two side-by-side sheets of paper. Then, take a highlighter and highlight blocks of time when you are both are free from work, children, hobbies and miscellaneous obligations. Next, brainstorm couple's activities that will relax your partner enough for he or she to open up to you and talk to you about your relationship problem. For example, take a cooking class together, attend a sports event or outdoor concert, or simply just spend the day thrift store and flea market shopping to set the tone for a heartfelt lunch, brunch or dinner that could give your relationship the neutral space, time and attention that it needs to return to its former glory.
Numerous couples counseling options exist to help you save your relationship. However, before you decide on an expensive relationship adviser to help you navigate through your relationship problem, interview several to make sure that they will enhance your relationship rather than hurt it. Any good, respected therapist should answer any and all questions you have regarding treatment methods, religious biases, payment options and estimated time of treatment before you hand over your hard-earned money for couples counseling sessions.
Relationship Self-Help Material
Although working on your relationship problem yourself or going to couples counseling might help you save your relationship, the most immediate and cost-effective way to keep your relationship intact is to arm yourself with reputable, legitimate relationship self-help material. Don't waste your money on the kind that tells you to talk things out over and over again, or how to lie to get your partner to stay with you. And don't waste your time "working on yourself" either. The changes that you need to make are the ones that benefit both you and your partner, so plan to ease into a bigger and better you with the love and support of your cherished partner - and not by yourself. Therefore, choose relationship self-help material that helps you "get your head on straight," get instant emotional relief from the depression and pain you feel from your failing relationship, and help you effortlessly reconnect with your partner until you are back in the "nook."